Family | Henry Hates Sleep

Henry hates sleep. Or me. Or both. Funny thing is during his first few days on earth he was an excellent sleeper, in fact he was that good of a sleeper I had to set an alarm on my phone to make sure he fed every three hours because he just would not wake for it. Fast forward a few weeks when we established feeding shit hit the fan. He just wouldn't sleep of a night, he hated being put in his cot (which come to think of it is fair enough really) but I tried white noise apps, rocking him, lying next to him and nothing would work. I was shattered and that's why Pete started sleeping downstairs with him because I'm a horrible bitch when I'm tired. 

Don't get me wrong there are nights when he does sleep all the way through (I think, there must be) but there are many a night (usually when Pete is away) that he's awake all hours. The other night he woke up at 1am and didn't go back to sleep until 4.30am and this has happened on more than one occasion. It kills me because that's me awake then for the rest of the night, I'm normally disturbed by Pete coming home from work not long after Henry has gone back to sleep, the cats jumping about and then its 7am and both boys are awake again. 

George was an excellent sleeper. God he was such an easy baby. I remember clearly the first time he slept through the night, he was eight weeks and I woke up at 2am shouting "shit the baby hasn't had a bottle!" making Pete get out of bed and we stupidly woke him to feed him. You panic with your first don't you? Thank god I'm over all that now! Anyway, from then we never woke him for a bottle after that night and I felt like a new woman getting chunks of sleep. We did co-sleep with him for months but he would sleep through the night and the progression to the cot wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. He would go to bed at 7pm and wake at 7am. 

I was one of those parents that everyone hated. The one who was made to feel guilty that my child slept through the night. The one who didn't feel like they were allowed to mention that they had a good sleeper without being accused of being smug. The one who was old they were "lucky" despite establishing a routine. 

Now I'm the parent jealous of the good sleepers. I am very lucky that Pete does do bed time and he does sleep downstairs with the kids for the time being so unless he's working it doesn't fall on me but on those nights that it does, I struggle massively. No amount of coffee can save me. I end up being ready for bed around tea time because I just don't cope with no sleep. 

My goal for this week is to start decorating the bedrooms now they are 90% clear and as soon as that is done we can start sleep training again. I just can't wait to normalise our bed time routine and then hopefully Henry will start sleeping properly. 

Wish us luck!

Rachael xo

Family | Double The Tantrums

I thought as your kids got older the tantrums got better? I thought wrong, they just seem to get bigger. George is three and a half and although the tantrums are less frequent they just seem to be absolutely mega as of late. To make matters worse, we've got double the tantrums now Henry has started to assert himself! Send. Help!

George has started this god damn awful cry when he's having a paddy. I wish you could hear it - no actually, scrap that, I wouldn't wish that on anybody. You'll have to imagine it, it goes a bit like this "waaaahhhh!" Imagine a pterodactyl on steroids because that is the only way I can possibly describe it. He's unrecognisable when he does it. You know as a parent you can recognise your own child crying? I couldn't tell you it was him if I heard him. In fact, we were walking back to the caravan last week, Pete and Henry were inside and Pete didn't know it was him even though he'd heard him. I want to rip my own ears off whenever he does it. 

As if that wasn't bad enough, Henry (15 months) has started the tantrums already. Of course he's at the age now where he wants to do things for himself, especially things his big brother does but naturally he still needs that extra bit of help. God forbid you help him or stop him doing something. We get smacked, kicked and he just throws himself about. Honestly it's like he's possessed. His body contorts into positions I never knew possible. Regan MacNeil eat your heart out!

It's just so easy to forget how early the tantrums can start, you hear about the terrible twos all the time but nobody mentions that it starts nine months before their second birthday. Nobody tells you how difficult it is to calm down a tantrum of a one year old who can't really understand a word you're saying. I can't ever remember George starting the tantrums this early but I guess my memory is pretty shit because he must have done. Both my boys are very strong willed and they definitely get that from me. When I had a second child I knew it would be challenging juggling both kids but it never even dawned on me that there would be double tantrums. You're probably reading this thinking "you silly cow " but it isn't something that ever crossed my mind. You worry about splitting yourself in two and getting out the house on time. 

If you follow me on Facebook, you'll see I uploaded a video of George's strop and loads of other people said they were in the same boat and said it doesn't stop. Even when they're five. Least I'll get many years out of my blog name ay? 

Send wine!

Rachael xo

Home | Toddler Room Makeover

Just a quick one today but I really wanted to share this with you. Following from my post that the boys don't sleep in their own room which you can read here I have been inspired to finally redecroate the bedrooms! We moved into our house almost four years ago come June and we have used the middle bedroom as a dumping ground for all sorts of shit. Seriously, I can't even bring myself to show you a photograph of it because it's that bad. Since the boys have been sleeping downstairs, we had just been dumping boxes in George's bedroom too rather than putting them straight into the loft. I can't even remember the last time I hung any clothes in their wardrobe, it has literally been in the worst state ever. I've just gotten so lazy as of late and have no excuse for it to be honest, I just keep making excuses but I'm suddenly motivated to get it all sorted.

Today I spent the entire afternoon hanging up clothes, putting boxes in the loft and now we finally have one clear bedroom, it's a shame nobody is sleeping in it! After I'd cleared the box bedroom, I sat on the floor, listening to The Greatest Showman soundtrack and buying some little bits for Henry's new room. It has made me so excited to finally sort the upstairs of our house out. Is there anything better than the feeling of a Spring clean?

What do you think of my picks?

Rachael xo

Life | On Friendships After Kids

They say if a friendship lasts seven years it lasts forever. I'm not entirely sure who 'they' are but I like it. I have three best friends, my coven, and they have all been in my life for over seven years now - lucky witches!

I've known Emma since we were in pre-school and even though I left that school, we still saw each other once a year at a mutual friend's birthday party. Then when we started secondary school we were placed in the same form and have been best friends ever since. I think that's called serendipity.



Grace and I started a beautiful friendship during Year 10 Science class where we would constantly belt out Busted and Blink 182 song. Finally, when we hit drinking age we'd head out to our local rock club where we would neck 2-4-1 bevs and dance to loads of pop punk. She's since grown out of her emo phase but I liked her so I kept her around. 

I don't know how I became friends with Lauren but we would spend summers at the beach or nights in her attic gossiping, playing some Harry Potter board game or winding up boys on MSN. Remember MSN? God, I'm old! Again, we became good drinking buddies spending our hard earned cash on £1 drinks every Monday and dancing to cheesy classics (our common ground) at Aquapop, vowing each night to not get "Med Drunk" - if you know, you know.

I see many posts online where mums are complaining they've lost friends after they've had a baby. Most of it seems very passive aggressive - "have a baby, you'll soon find out who your real friends are" - that kind of stuff. Although part of me does feel sorry for these people, I also get quite annoyed by it. I want to know how much effort is put in by the person with child.

I understand that I'm very lucky in the fact my girls are still around after I've had two kids.Yes, two of us now no longer live locally due to work commitments and we don't go out as often as we used to but that comes with age and life getting in the way doesn't it?. If you all make the effort there's no reason for you not to be able to stay mates. The four of us have a Whatsapp group in which we talk almost every single day, we meet up as often as we can for a catch up or a night out and have even managed a couple of weekends away together.

Without sounding too soppy or gushy or cringey, I am truly blessed to call them my friends, they are all unofficial aunties to my boys. I mean, does your mum even have mates if you don't call them all auntie?

I'm a firm believer in that it works two ways, you still have to put that effort into any relationship after having a child. Whether it be catching up over coffee or something as simple as sending a quick text. You might be surprised!

Rachael xo

Review | Mamas and Papas Magic Stargaze Playmat Review

When you're pregnant with your first child, people will always be willing to give/ buy you stuff. A lot of people always want brand new for their first born, but I wasn't too fussy. George had a brand new pram, clothes and furniture for his bedroom and I was happy with that. We were even offered a playmat which was in immaculate condition and we loved it. 

Two and a half years on, I'm not entirely sure what happened to that playmat (in fact, we had two which both seem to have got lost in our spare room). It was when I was scrolling through Facebook that I saw an advert for a grey playmat which I just fell in love with, but couldn't bring myself to part with the money for it, as it was literally just a mat on its own. Beautiful, but not really worth the money! It was then that I decided I wanted to buy a grey playmat because well, I really like grey and I had my heart set on this gorgeous grey one that I couldn't justify.

 After a bit of Googling, I came across the Mamas and Papas Magic Stargaze Playmat and I was instantly drawn to the colours! Have I mentioned I love grey and mustard? The price tag was pretty hefty for a playmat so I did a bit of research before purchasing it. Every review I read was glowing so I popped it into my basket and waited eagerly for its arrival. 

As soon as it came, George and I set it up immediately and weren't disappointed. It is pretty straightforward to assemble, the mat has two poles which need inserting into the tent part (sorry, I really don't know how else to describe it) which was quite fiddly but easy enough. Once the poles were in place, I just clipped them to the mat, positioned the tent part and it was ready to go!  

The Magic Stargaze Playmat comes with two music packs, one that plays soothing music and the other has the option to insert your phone and play your own music, we had the Wicked soundtrack on there on our first go! I think you can also puchase additional packs. There's just a little cable that goes into the headphone socket of your phone and a pouch for it to sit in. So easy! When the toys are hit or kicked, the tune changes and a light show plays accordingly, there is even a button at the bottom for feet which also makes changes to the rhythym. Henry really loves watching the lights and listening to the music, and even George has a good go! There are buttons to adjust the volume so you can have it as loudly or as quietly as you want and the on/off switch is so easy to do that most of the time I just ask George to switch it off for me. Perfect for when you're trying to settle your over stimulated newborn!

The mat also comes with a mirror, toys to dangle and an additional hook for your own toys, which can be hooked anywhere as there are plenty of loops for different options. There is also a detachable, crescent pillow ideal for tummy time which we strongly encourage in our house.

The Magic Stargaze Mat is amazing for sensory play and so worth the price tag! I thought it would be difficult to put away due to the big tent part but in fact, it's no harder than a standard playmat. If you're looking for something for your newborn then I highly recommend this! 

What playmat does your baby have?

Rachael xo

Wishing | Grey and Mustard Wishlist

Do you know what, I live in clothes from Primark, my boys live in things from supermarkets (clothes - not potato sacks) but every now and then I'll have a little splurge in Next and their Spring range never fails to impress me. George had an absolutely gorgeous little collection from there which I can't wait to dig out and pass on to Henry for when the weather brightens up. 

It's no secret that I am a massive lover of grey (seriously, see my Instagram), a colour that goes with everything, but I adore it with mustard! Naturally, when I saw this collection in Next I fell head over heels for it and I want to buy it all. I added this all to my basket on Monday only to find out Pete has misplaced our vouchers but I love it that much, I might just have to buy it anyway. Seriously, how gorgeous? 

You can shop the collection here*

 Rachael xo

*not a sponsored post - I just really loved it and it is high up on my wishlist!

Health | My PCOS Story

I recently attended an evening with Giovanna Fletcher where she spoke about her new book, Happy Mum, Happy Baby. It was here I learned of her struggle with PCOS and I couldn't relate more to what she was saying. It was such a relief to hear of another person who had gone through the same thing I had. So what is PCOS? PCOS stands for polycystic ovary syndrome. PCOS is actually a hormone imbalance whereby the body produces too much insulin and testosterone. That's my understanding of it anyway! After hearing of Giovanna's experience I wanted to share my PCOS Story:

I've always known I wanted to become a mum and if I could, I would have liked to have been younger than 24 when I did. However, age doesn't really matter because it's when you're in the right position to start a family that's important. I digress. Pete and I had been together for two years when we made the decision to become parents, so in January 2013, I came off the pill. That's when my problems started and my PCOS story begins. 

After coming off the pill, I put on a bit of weight and my periods were really heavy and irregular. On the day of our engagement party, Mother Nature paid me a visit and after 2 months of no periods, she was back with a vengeance. Typical! I told my mum and she said my symptoms weren't normal and she expected I could have endometriosis so with that I went to see a doctor. 

The doctor I saw was a bit uncertain but suggested PCOS to which my mum challenged as I wasn't displaying any of the typical symptoms such as, excessive weight gain, hair growth on my face, chest and bum and acne. He then went for a second opinion from a doctor who had specialised in that area who then backed him up. I was informed I'd need blood tests to confirm this and they had to be done on certain days of my menstrual cycle. Therefore, I had to wait for another period to make an appearance which of course, one never. A second trip to the doctors resulted in me being given a pill to induce a period so the tests could be done.

By this time 9 months had passed, I still had no baby and no diagnosis. I felt defeated and betrayed by my own body. I would see baby announcements almost every day (or so it seemed) and would see newborn babies everywhere I looked. I was miserable. I so desperately wanted to become a mum and it was devastating. Eventually scans and blood tests confirmed I did have PCOS and I was referred to a consultant who prescribed a horrible drug, Metformin. It's actually a drug given to diabetics as it controls insulin but it also helps balance hormones (I think, again that's my understanding of it). The side effects were horrendous, I was nauseous all the time and had no appetite but I kept at it. I started taking Metformin early November time and must have fallen pregnant instantly! 

I remember on Christmas Eve, Pete had made himself a curry and the smell turned my stomach. I just put the nausea down to the medication and didn't give it a second thought. It wasn't until I complained of having sore boobs to my mum that I then took a pregnancy test. Even then I still didn't think I could be pregnant. Due to it being late in the evening (around 10pm) the test was taking ages for anything to show up. I didn't even tell Pete I was taking a test! I went to bed with the pregnancy test on my bedside table, so the first thing I did when I woke up was check it. I almost died of shock when I saw two lines. I woke Pete up saying "I need another pregnancy test, I think I'm pregnant!" It was so exciting but I was so scared the test was a false positive. After all, how could I be pregnant when I hadn't had a period for months? Luckily, it only took us less than a year to get pregnant and there was talks of me going on another drug later on if the Metformin wasn't working for us. 

My story has a happy ending and I even got pregnant with Henry naturally. Infertility is a bitch but there is light at the end of the tunnel if you do have PCOS. There was a time when I was so consumed with self-hatred and now I am blessed with 2 beautiful boys. PCOS isn't something you hear of very often as it doesn't seem to be talked about but it affects 1 in 10 women! It can be really distressing to hear you may not be able to conceive but there are so many success stories out there and I'm one of them. Modern science is a truly wonderful thing. If you are struggling, just know, there are others out there just like you. Find someone to talk to and don't suffer through it alone. 

Rachael xo

Welcome to Tots and Tantrums

I've always loved to write but I fall in and out of love with blogging on the reg. I guess it could be down to the fact I've never really found my niche until now. 

When George entered the world on 10-09-2014 my whole world changed. I became what I feared most, I became a baby bore, you've just go to look at my Facebook to see that, we don't mean to do it though, we just can't help ourselves.

With George developing into this funny, clever and mischievous toddler, and another baby on the way I wanted to try something new. I've been toying with the idea of Tots and Tantrums for a while now and since my maternity leave starts this Friday, I thought there's no time like the present. I must be mad because I'm going to have my hands full as it is come January without trying to make my mark on the internet as well! 

So here I am, ready to talk about what life is like with a newborn and a toddler!

Wish me luck! 

Rachael xo