Thursday 28 December 2017

Life | On Friendships After Kids

They say if a friendship lasts seven years it lasts forever. I'm not entirely sure who 'they' are but I like it. I have three best friends, my coven, and they have all been in my life for over seven years now - lucky witches!

I've known Emma since we were in pre-school and even though I left that school, we still saw each other once a year at a mutual friend's birthday party. Then when we started secondary school we were placed in the same form and have been best friends ever since. I think that's called serendipity.

Grace and I started a beautiful friendship during Year 10 Science class where we would constantly belt out Busted and Blink 182 song. Finally, when we hit drinking age we'd head out to our local rock club where we would neck 2-4-1 bevs and dance to loads of pop punk. She's since grown out of her emo phase but I liked her so I kept her around. 

I don't know how I became friends with Lauren but we would spend summers at the beach or nights in her attic gossiping, playing some Harry Potter board game or winding up boys on MSN. Remember MSN? God, I'm old! Again, we became good drinking buddies spending our hard earned cash on £1 drinks every Monday and dancing to cheesy classics (our common ground) at Aquapop, vowing each night to not get "Med Drunk" - if you know, you know.

I see many posts online where mums are complaining they've lost friends after they've had a baby. Most of it seems very passive aggressive - "have a baby, you'll soon find out who your real friends are" - that kind of stuff. Although part of me does feel sorry for these people, I also get quite annoyed by it. I want to know how much effort is put in by the person with child.

I understand that I'm very lucky in the fact my girls are still around after I've had two kids.Yes, two of us now no longer live locally due to work commitments and we don't go out as often as we used to but that comes with age and life getting in the way doesn't it?. If you all make the effort there's no reason for you not to be able to stay mates. The four of us have a Whatsapp group in which we talk almost every single day, we meet up as often as we can for a catch up or a night out and have even managed a couple of weekends away together.

Without sounding too soppy or gushy or cringey, I am truly blessed to call them my friends, they are all unofficial aunties to my boys. I mean, does your mum even have mates if you don't call them all auntie?

I'm a firm believer in that it works two ways, you still have to put that effort into any relationship after having a child. Whether it be catching up over coffee or something as simple as sending a quick text. You might be surprised!

Rachael xo

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