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Monday, 25 May 2020

Family | Two Homes

As if making the decision to bin your fella, move out and start anew isn't stressful enough, you've also got to find a way to tell the kids they are going to have two home because mummy and daddy can't live together anymore. When I made that decision, Henry was only just two so he didn't understand what was happening, but the thought of telling George was eating me up inside; but one weekend when their dad was at work I just blurted it out and told him. I hadn't meant to but it was just such a relief to get it off my chest. In hindsight we should have told him together and I wouldn't recommend doing it the way I did though. 

No point dwelling on it now because it's done but what I did was explain to him that mummy and daddy were going to live in different houses, just like nana has a different house but we would still be a family. We also bought them a book called Two Homes which was really lovely. I've not been able to find it to link it and I can't remember the author but if I can find it, I will link it because it really helped with the transition. The best thing we did was make it exciting for him and he handled it really well. They are just so resilient at that age aren't they?

There was more confusion with Henry because he was only two so there would be times when he would just scream to "go home. Not mummy's house!" but as they say time heals all wounds. We actually all settled in really quickly and it wasn't long before the boys were thriving off their new routine. 

I won't lie to you though, those first couple of months were so so hard. The boys were getting used to sleeping in a new bedroom and as you know, it always feels weird to fall asleep somewhere new and strange. It was such a big change for them both so there were plenty of tantrums from the pair of  them and they would scream for their dad which is never easy to hear; especially when you're going through a rough time yourself and you're the one that has ripped them away from the house they grew up in. their home. I just felt like the world's worst mum because mum guilt is real.

Despite the tantrums, from both myself and the boys, we did get used to our new arrangement and it wasn't long before we were happy. For the first time in a long time, we were happy. Finally. Me especially. And it was then that I knew I had made the right decision and two happy, separated parents were better than two miserable ones. 

So if you're worried about a break up affecting your children, please don't. Two homes are just as good as one - and even better if it makes you a happier, better parent! 

Rachael xo

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