Monday 13 January 2020

Dating | Dating as a Single Mum

If you told me this time last year I'd be dating again I'd have probably laughed in your face because honestly the sheer thought of being intimate with somebody new terrified me. I had been in a long term relationship since I was 21 so the idea of being single again was a daunting one. Turns out a few DM slides does wonders for a girl's confidence. Who knew? 

I've been single for a year now and am comfortably back in the dating game but as a working mum it can be hard yeno. My ex works weekend (self employed isn't he?) and I work mid week so our arrangement with the boys suits both our work patterns; however one of us (and it's not me) has it way more easy than the other... It can be so hard for me to find the time to meet up with someone midweek due to work commitments, but obviously those three free evenings I do get, I try to make the most of. Nine times out of ten though most fellas are sound with going for a midweek bev and if you go straight from work you can be on the last train home and back in bed by midnight so it's not really as bad as it sounds. Exhausting though! 

As well as finding the time and being constantly knackered it's really hard to meet new people isn't it? Nobody wants to meet someone in a night club (not that I even go to night clubs being nearly thirty and all that). On top of that my weekends are quite precious because they're my days with the boys, so even though I could get a babysitter and go out (which sometimes I do), I don't really want to unless it's to catch up with a mate. 

So that leaves me with dating apps which I'm not gonna lie, can be so much fun but are equal parts depressing at times.They're just shallow aren't they? Swipe if you fancy me judging from a few of my best photos. Some men are just disgusting when they can hide behind a screen as well, cue the hasty use of the unmatch button. It's not all bad though, I have actually met a few nice fellas from dating apps which haven't worked out for one reason or another so there is hope. 

The next thing us mums have got to worry about is if it's going well with someone, when and how do we introduce him to our kids? Luckily that's an obstacle I've not had to face just yet but it is always there in the back of my mind like. Will the kids like him? Will he be good to them? Will they be confused? 

Dating in your thirties is hard enough without throwing kids into the mix but it's deffo nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Apart from learning about things called breadcrumbing and ghosting (seriously, wtf?). If someone likes you they won't care about your stretch marks and wobbly bits and they WILL make time to see you when you're free; be it a midweek drink or a lunch time coffee. 

So single mums (and dads) get yourself out there!

Rachael xo

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