Saturday 5 August 2017

Family | Stop Asking Me If I Will Try For A Girl


As a mum of two boys, the one question that often creeps up is "are you going to try again for a girl?" and out of everything, it pisses me off the absolute most! You can give me unsolicted advice, doesn't bother me one bit, you can ask me if I want another baby, also doesn't bother me, but asking me if I will "try for a girl" gets on my nerves and I'll tell you why. 

I spoke about my PCOS journey here but for those of you who don't know, I have a hormonal imbalance which affects my periods making it difficult for me to conceive. It was agonising wanting a baby and knowing your body was failing you so when we finally got pregnant with George, Pete and I were over the moon. It was exciting, we were lucky it happened relatively quickly for us too as we thought I'd have to start a fertility drug had the first set of drugs not worked for us. 

19 months after George arrived into the world, we fell pregnant again with baby number two. Our little surprise was conceived completely naturally, despite my PCOS and although there were a lot of tears at first (from me - I was in shock) we bere excited to have a squishy newborn again. I knew I was extremely lucky to have fallen pregnant again so easily after all the trying with George. 

This time round, I wanted to know the sex of the baby, one thing we never found during the first pregnancy, but I thought it would make the transition easier for George, to be able to tell him he was getting a brother or sister. We booked an early gender scan, and I think part of me did wish for a girl as it would be nice to have one of each as they say. The baby was in a funny position, the sonographers made me wiggle my bum, empty my bladder, jump on the spot and eventually they saw it, a little willy. They confirmed it was a boy, Pete and I didn't speak for a minute then my mum shouted "wahey! Another boy!" I remember saying with a smile "I told you it would be another boy didn't I?" Gender disappointment is real, but although part of me did wish for a girl, I was still happy regardless. I wasn't going to love my child any less because he was a boy and I'm a bit biased because we're mainly males in our family anyway. I was happy to be giving George a little brother and the bond they share now is just incredible, it actually melts my icy heart (even though George has been asking me for a sister recently.. not happening pal). 

So here's why it annoys me when people ask "are you going to try again for a girl?" I think it is really presumptuious that you'd think I was unsatisfied with having two boys, and newsflash, I'm not! I love having two boys, they are both loving and affectionate, handsome and clever. That makes me beam with pride. I also love how easy they are to dress, literally just grab a little shirt and shorts/ jeans and they instantly look adorable, plus I don't have to do anything with their hair. Bonus! Another reason I hate this question is because people don't realise how lucky I am to actually have conceived the two children I have, which I understand is through no fault of their own, and I understand it probably seems a little bit silly since I don't really mind being asked if I'll have another. If at some point in the future, Pete and I did decide to have another child, it wouldn't be to try for a girl, it would be simply because we want to expand our family. 

Disclaimer: we are 100% not having another baby any time soon for any family reading this!

Rachael xo

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