Friday, 16 June 2017

Life | Just Being Me

When George was around 9 months old, I went to Manchester for the night to meet up with some friends, we booked a hotel as everyone was from different cities then went for food, drinks and dancing. I stayed in Manchester the day after shopping and of course more eating then headed straight to Chester for the night to see another mate. I remember my mum saying to me "I would never have done what you did, I wouldn't have wanted to be away from the boys [my younger brothers] for so long." The thing is, I needed a break, Pete and I weren't getting on very well, you know how it goes, you've just had a baby together, you're fighting all the time. I had to get away! There's a page on Facebook (I won't name it)  and I don't follow it (it's full of people who get on their high horse) but a few of my friends do therefore I often see posts crop up on my timeline. One in particular, was by a mum who wanted to go on holiday with her friends but the father of their children refused to have them for the week (they were separated). The amount of comments I saw telling her she was selfish for wanting to go away was astonishing! I've just been to Cardiff for two days with my friend from Dublin, and I'll tell you, it was great! I got to leave the house with just a handbag (okay a suitcase too), but it was amazing just leaving without a million and one things and two young kids in tow. 

I also went to Magaluf for a friends hen do and I will be going on a hen do in July for four days too, without my babies, without my fella and am I looking forward to it? Too right I am. It doesn't make me selfish for wanting that time away, it makes me human. Firstly, yes, I am a mum, my boys come first  (soz for sounding like a Facebook ma) and even though I moan about them I do like that I'm needed, but I am also me. A lot of people agree with me and also do things to make them feel themselves: 

M E  T I M E

Listen to music I used to enjoy. I never get chance normally when I have a newish baby, mine don't like it, but the minute I can listen to what used to make me happy, I feel a little bit like me again - Accidental Hipster Mum

Putting old 90's CD's on in the car on the way to work. Locking myself in my bedroom with a book and a glass of wine (easier now my children are 5 & 10 and sometimes electronics are helpful) have an evening out with the girls - My South Bristol Yard

As a massive gamer, playing on my games consoles makes me feel like me again (as materialistic as it sounds). That's what I enjoyed pre toddler and that's what made me, me - LesBeMums

I tend to try and do this on a weekend though I fail most of the time! I leave my phone in my bag, have a hot bath, watch a movie or if I'm super lucky I go on a spa day! - Toby and Roo

E X E R C I S E / D I E T I N G

I joined slimming world and lost 3 stone in 6 months. It gave me back my confidence and I now feel fitter, healthier and more confident. I feel happy in my skin and like the old me again, not just a frumpy mum - Twinderelmo

I started running. I'd always hated it. But when Robyn was a few months I started the c25k and while it was great and helped me lose weight and regain fitness, it did so much more. That half an hour out running gave me space and time alone. I'd return feeling happier and myself - Bobsy's Mum 

B R E A K S  A W A Y 

I don't get little regular breaks, just because we don't have family nearby to help out, but I take longer ones less often. For example I went away for just over a week of sun with my sister at the beginning of the year, and I've had a couple of other weekends away too with friends. I need it, and am always pleasantly surprised at how quickly I feel like me again, not "mum me" - Five Little Stars (Kate)

For me personally we have regular family holidays and then I book myself a spa day while we are away. My daughter either goes to a babysitter or she is looked after by my husband or Mum, depending on who is on holiday with us. This is vital for me to recharge my batteries.  At least once a fortnight I enjoy some time at my allotment alone. I don't do a lot of work while there and just relax, play games on my phone and take it easy - Katy Kicker


Actually starting my blog has helped me alot, it gives me something to focus on when the baby sleeps - Mummy and Liss

After I had my daughter (who is a considerably harder baby than my son was) I completely felt like I had lost myself. I started a makeup related Instagram which quickly grew into a blog & Facebook makeup group. I feel like I have a passion again, something that is just mine, just for me! - itsrachelbeauty

A N D  O F  C O U R S E

T H E  N I G H T  O U T (because we all like a good drink)

 My breaks are the rare occasion that I get to have a night out with the girls. I actually put on make up, wear nice clothes, eat hot food and drink waaaaay too much prosecco. It doesn't happen often but i love those nights, they remind me that I'm not just "Mummy", although the hangover the next day brings me back down to earth! - Five Little Doves

So there we have it, we all need to feel like ourselves and not just a mum, whether it be haaving a bath and glass of wine, exercising, a night out or even a weekend away. Do what you want to make yourself feel good and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting that time! 

Rachael xo

Thursday, 1 June 2017

Family | An Open Letter to my Two Year Old

Dear George,

You are the love of my life, for months I longed for a baby and there was a slight possibility we wouldn't be able to conceive naturally, but you, my little miracle never needed the help we thought we would require. You were a blessing. Before you I was unhappy, you brought joy into my life, I moved closer to home, finally found the job I'd been looking for for months. 

You arrived into the world on September 10 2014,  I couldn't cry, I was overwhelmed, but that night after everyone had gone home, I held you in my arms and cried happy tears. Maternity leave was filled with kisses, cuddles, Netflix and lots of tea. It was perfect.

I went back to work full time, something I never wanted to do but the company I worked for would not allow me the family friendly hours I requested. I missed you, hated being away from you, in turn became resentful, hating the job I was in. A year on, I lost that job which was a blessing in disguise, we had a month off together before I started my new job and I loved it, I never wanted to go back to work. I wanted to be a stay at home mum, I wanted to play with you and look after you full time. In fact, I thought there were part time hours available which would have been perfect for me, for us. I guess you'll never understand mum guilt but it's a thing, trust me.

Shortly after I started my new job, I fell pregnant again and my world was turned upside down immediately. Our little threesome was unexpectedly about to become a foursome.  I was worried about how you would react to not being our whole world anymore and when Henry arrived, you behaved as expected, you were naughty for mummy and daddy, especially mummy. But hey, I know it wsas just because your whole world was turned upside down too. Things soon settled and I was very lucky that you took to your big brother role like a duck to water, you were and still are very gentle and loving, always want to hold him and kiss him, and you have the ability to make him belly laugh like no other which makes me beam with pride. The bond you both share is precious.

The past two weeks though mate, have been hard, really hard! Last week you screamed blue murder from the minute you got up, I put it down to the heat. I too, am a grump when the weather is hot and sticky, I did everything in my power to cool you down, lolly ices (sorry world, it's a Scouse thing that Pete tells me off for on the daily), I filled up the paddling pool with buckets of warm water and boiled kettles. We went to a theme park to do loads of fun things and take your mind off that horrible sun. 

Luckily, the weather has taken a bit of a turn, it's warm but cloudy and we can deal with that, but your behaviour is still out of control. You have thrown toys at your brother, smacked him, screamed at me, shouted at me, and today you even bit my shoulder. I am at my wits end and my patience is not just wearing thin but has worn down completely.

I've been told many a time to smack you back by several different (older) people which is something neither me or daddy agree with as it teaches you it is okay to smack. I have tried speaking to you calmly, but you ignore me and we are back to trying out the naughty step, something you must like since you've spent a lot of time on it recently! 

I love you, but I do not like you very much right now.  I want to go back to work, I want time away from you and while that all might sound quite mean, mummy needs a break. I want my little boy back, the one who gives kisses and cuddles, the one who shares his sweeties, the one who doesn't fake cry. Here's praying this is just a phase!

Love from mummy xxx