When I started this series my intention was to blog weekly about our life in lockdown but to be completely honest with you, I haven't really wanted to document it. The truth is I have really struggled with being on my own in the house with the boys. I occasionally see my neighbours once a week when they take my bins out for me, the boys dad when he drops them off but he's a loner and getting conversation out of him is like drawing blood from a stone, and my parents when they've done socially distanced door drop offs. I used to consider myself quite antisocial, but I'm not really. I don't really like the general public or strangers (unless I've had a bevvy then I'm everyones mate) but it turns out in fact, I actually need people around me. I guess it's one of those things isn't it? Being left alone with nothing but your kids and your own thoughts can be hard and it's been hard for me.
I've kept myself busy with projects around the house because I'm due to move house soon so I've given everywhere a much needed freshen up and upcycled some furniture ready for when I move in to the house. I've kept away from people I love, kept away from my friends, my family for 12 or 13 weeks or however long it is now and kept me and my boys (and the old fella who stands that little bit too close behind me in the supermarket) safe.
When lockdown rules were lifted and we were allowed to see people from another household in a public space, I met up with my friend and her two boys which I'm not going to talk about too much because I wrote about it here but when I posted a photo I was scrutinised by people for it. Just this weekend I spent a few hours in the park with the girls were we all sat apart from each other and yet again people are quick to comment on how far or how close we're sitting. The same people are sharing cars with people from another househould to go for fast food or don't even actually live in mainland UK and are no longer socially distancing at all. One person on Twitter even called me vile and selfish. Everyone thinks they're the lockdown police at the minute. I've socially distanced, I've stuck by the rules and I now have one family in my bubble.
I thought that when the rules were lifted and I could see my friends and now I can even hug my mum, I'd feel great but instead I'm being made to feel like shit by people who can't just mind their own business. I guess there's no real reason for this post other than just needing a rant. Soical media is toxic and it's full of people with too much to say because they can hide behind a screen. People hate seeing others happy don't they? So that's why I've made the decision to come off Facebook and I'll be no longer sharing what I do on social media, so I guess I'm taking a hiatus from it all.
Stay safe
Rachael xo
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